After spending a wonderful weekend in Nebraska with my Mom and sisters Marni & Courtney (plus Marni’s family: Jon, Ellie & Miles), I was filled with renewed appreciation for siblings (and mothers, of course!). Because of my frequent failings as a mother (and they do haunt me … I remember asking Kyle one night before bed, “Do you also experience this crushing remorse every night for all the things you didn’t get right that day with the kids?” His answer was an untroubled “No,” which I think is probably healthier), I am glad that Graham and Annie have each other.
I always wanted to have more children than 2 (though Jonathan once aptly remarked that in many ways, Graham is like having a set of twins), but that dream of three was not to be.
And I’m okay with it ... some of the time. Well, most of the time.
I used to worry that if I only had two children, we wouldn’t have a close family. (Yes, I recognize this isn’t a rational thought. Irrational fears are rarely rational. Duh.) But it was a real worry. I wasn’t sure if two children would create enough connections to keep it interesting. No offense intended to families with two children. I guess I thought three children would do the trick because it worked with my family and several families I admired (the Langens and the McDermids, for starters). I had lots of fun, too, with even larger families (the Laynes and the Moores) and idealized the delightful chaos that comes with lots of siblings.
I’ve realized now that there is plenty of chaos to be had with two kids.
I’m also in the process of realizing (meaning that I still have to shoo away irrational/future fears) that my future family will be close because I make it that way, not because we have the right number of people.
I think that a sibling (or close friend or special cousin) is such a gift … someone to help us learn to be unselfish, someone with whom to quarrel over first dibs, someone to play silly games with (I remember a game called “Shark” that involved jumping from bed to bed in Marni & Courtney’s room). Graham and Annie love to play the fun “Yes, Yellow”, a game of their own devising where one of them says "yellow" and the other says "yes", then the first says "lellow" and the other says "no". Then they switch it up a bit ... the listener doesn't know if it's going to be "lellow" or "yellow". Stay on your toes!
(Does that game sound boring? Yeah, it does, but it makes G & A laugh a lot in the car so I'm not complaining.)