I don't wear bikinis, never have. (Uproarious laughter ensues!)
I do love tankinis, however. And last summer, I had the rare experience of finding and purchasing a bathing suit I liked. I like it so much I'm already worried about making the seams and buckles and straps last. My fear of suit disintegration isn't paranoia. I wear it all the time from May - September! I love swimming, so in the summer months, my kids and I hit various pools multiple times a week for hours at a time. All that chlorine can't be good for the suit... so I rinse it out and I tuck it in at night, praying that the suit will live to see another summer. Still, I fully understand the reality that I shall probably never find another swimming suit I like as well. Lightning doesn't strike twice. I can only hope that maybe by the time my blue-striped tankini falls apart, Land's End will be manufacturing 1920s-era women's suits, the kind with bloomers and puffy sleeves!
In the meantime, I keep my eyes peeled for suit trends. This sometimes involves going to people.com and clicking through the slide shows of famous people at the beach. In my most recent perusal, I found these three photos. Three celebrities in bikinis, but one of these ladies is not like the others.
I think Gwyneth Paltrow's suit is cute. She is rail thin, but looks healthy, like someone who works out and eats nutritious food. She doesn't look like some kind of augmentation nightmare and her skin is pale. Points for the natural look. (Natural as in, she has a trainer, live-in housekeeper, nanny and stylist to aid her in achieving that look. Still, many celebrities have that kind of help and still go for the bronzed plastic look!)
Kate Beckinsdale is way too skinny, but I like the feminine touches on the suit. She looks relatively demure, in a skin-baring way. I don't like the hat with the attached hair though. Oh wait - is that her real hair? Coulda fooled me!
But Cameron Diaz scares me. I know she's ripped and I appreciate that she hasn't implanted double DDs, but still, something about this suit/this picture gives me the beach-willies. Why am I having such a negative reaction to her? She isn't baring any more skin than the other women ... so is it the wet, slicked hair? Or is it the mercenary bent of her jaw?
14 comments:
They all seem so far-fetched, body wise?! Where are the REAL women?!
Man, I hate bathing suit shopping. I found 2 that I liked on one trip a couple of years ago - they actually had enough support. While I don't have to worry about wearing them out anytime soon (last summer was sooo cold that we only swam twice), I'm always terrified that I'm going to fall out. There's just no way to adequately cover up and secure those double Ds.
Elizabeth - your comment almost made me search my files for a picture of me in a suit. Then I woke up!
Tracy - I had to laugh at your comment. I complimented Cameron Diaz on not going the implant route, but I say, you should work what the good lord gave ya! I'm sure you look great in a suit, even if you have to wear a t-shirt on any water slides. :)
A puzzling use of "mercenary." Can you clarify?
Yikes. Cameron Diaz does look so mannish.
Oh Carl, you and your wordy ways.
I bought a wonderful suit last summer online. I don't worry about it getting too much use, because last summer I was in the best shape of my life. This summer: Prego, thick and chunky. It'll be at least two years before I can wear it again . . . but, let's be honest, probably three or four. At least I have a cute suit for motivation, right?
I have pregnant pictures of myself in a bathing suit from when we went camping near San Antonio before going to Sea World with a bunch of couples . . . do you remember that trip? Why didn't you tell me how I looked?
No, REALLY, why didn't you???
But I disagree with your assessment of Miss Paltrow . . . I do think she looks freakishly thin. I don't want to see anyone's protruding hip bones.
call Land's End and talk to someone on the phone... see if they have any of the wonderful tankinis left.....there may very likely be one or two left for you..... buy all in your size! At least that's what I would do. If I find something I like, really like---it becomes a uniform.....I can match certain t shirts with over blouses I love and look and feel like myself... but swimming suits... I had a bikini once, Long ago, I weighed 113 at the time (no I do not weigh that any more)...I wore the bikini and even took a picture of myself in a full length mirror in my apt to have proof that it once happened....No more. One piece suits or---I was about to say nothing...... NO...I mean to say, shorts or non swimming wear that allows me to get my feet wet.
I just saw an article that showed A-Rod's previous ladies who all had amazing (uber sculpted!) arms and bodies. She is changing her workout and looks a body builder (tight and toned - not bulky with no neck) but it's not attractive. It's too ... something.
What I wonder is how they stay on - especially the bottom parts.
Kate Beckinsdale's hair/hat is horrid!
What a hyper-body conscious vain world we live in.
Should I get a hat/hair and wear a bikini to church? I think Kate Becksindale looks the best. Cameron Diaz is weird looking at best. I think the fact that her chest looks like complete muscle separated by her sternum(far apart) rather than fatty mammary tissue (sorry folks) is what makes it look weird. It makes her look like woMAN.
As for suits. Courtney lent me a HOT pink one piece maternity number. Seriously. HOT PINK? I was desperate. I wore it with Miles in utero. Now it is gone. Bye bye hot pink shamu shame suit.
What HOT pink maternity suit? I never owned a maternity swimsuit - I think you are confusing me with some other sister! Are you certain ERIN didn't give it to you?
Cameron just needs a more becoming top. One that doesn't gape so far. I think she would look good in a one piece - maybe with some ruffles (although that doesn't seem her) to make it more feminine.
Becca, so right, Gweneth is super skinny.
But all that said, I would rather look like Cameron in a suit than me.
I found a great tankini top at Land's End this winter. Navy with polka dots, with an adjustable drawstrings at the chest and sides. It would totally cover your DD's Tracy. Love It!
SHAMU SHAME SUIT.
You simply must post a photo of your favorite bathing suit - inquiring minds want to know what it looks like!
And, the Cameron Diaz photo is disturbing because her shoulders are actually broader than her hips, which makes her look rather manly. Her body is the exact one I coveted as a fourteen-year old girl with a C cup and size 10 hips. So glad we grow up.
Carl, it was a shamu shame suit supreme. I guess I wore it with pride and shame.
Courtney, I do recall YOU giving it to me. Erin gave me maternity clothes that were professionals from the eighties. Haha! Not really, but a knit suit jacket for teaching. NOT GOOD on me.
But Marni - I'm allergic to chlorine and was pregnant in the winter - WHY would I have had a shamu suit to give you???
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