Something I'm feeling guilty about this morning ... this early, early morning:
Last night at FHE, I snapped at both kids while teaching a *little* lesson on developing faith. Now some who know me and who have had to sit through my FHE lessons know that I need work on making lessons an appropriate length. (Jennifer had to have been a bit horrified this summer when my lesson on Work was 300 minutes long; my own family felt the same when the lesson on Baptism continued for approximately 8 years.) Still, this one was pretty short. (I found this mini lesson on LDSsplash.com, BTW.)
We started with a little seed picture, then taped up a tree trunk, some tree branches, and two big sections of foliage/leaves, then an apple. Each taped section had a Book of Mormon verse to read. The gist of the lesson was, to develop faith, we should read our scriptures, fast & pray, show true charity and partake of the sacrament. The apple is the fruit of our faith.
No bells & whistles, true, and we didn't end up planting any seeds outside because of the massive lightning storm. It probably wasn't effective that I did all of the reading ... and thinking.
But I'm feeling guilty because I got frustrated with both of them - Annie for doing weird roll-arounds/upside-downs on the rug and Graham for paying more attention to Lexei's tail than the verses. He started reading one of the verses, then just stopped in the middle. Okay, we're done.
I have such an ideal in my head that some times I have difficulty calibrating reality against it. I am honestly curious about how other people would handle this kind of un-attention. And until how old? Graham has been baptized ... shouldn't he be riveted by the lesson? (LOL, of course!)
I also feel a certain pressure to instill spirituality in my children ... and yes, I recognize that this is a bit counterproductive. Spirituality can't be forced or mandated. It needs to be encouraged and nurtured. Like a seed. Like a little laminated seed taped to the wall.
I don't just want religious clone children. Yikes - attack of the unthinking zealots. No, I want my children to feel the Holy Ghost, to feel charity, to feel comfort. To come to me saying, Dear Mother, tell us about your testimony. We will sit here pleasantly and listen.
I had a goal (cue ABBA music for "I Had a Dream") to offer thoughtful lessons each week at FHE. I've kept that up successfully for two-three years, give or take moving weeks. (Before that, we had lessons, some lovely, but sometimes more last-minute goulash style.) I love the idea of FHE. I love brainstorming FHE curriculum (the teacher in me). I certainly love coloring little scripture figures and laminating them. I love teaching the Article of Faith songs. But I don't love it when the children would rather pick lint from the underside of the couch than learn about True Faith.
I think I missed the boat on charity last night, that's for sure.
:)
6 comments:
I enjoyed this post Erin. I feel much the same way and you do such a better job than me about having regular FHE's. It makes me wonder "Does Heavenly Father feel this way about us when he is trying to teach us a lesson and we go about our "merry" way oblivious of the lesson and importance that we could be learning from trials and even everyday experiences in our lives?" It can get overwhelming so quickly though thinking of all we should be doing, acting, etc. Hang in there! I'm trying to also.
Seems like I've heard stories in Stake Conference of families whose kids are like in la-la land and yet every once in a while they show how much they are truly retaining - parents stand mouths gaping open to responses about Enos in the wilderness and such.
I LOVED the Round Table Discussion in the newest World Wide Leadership training (everything about it is so real!) -- sometimes it's less time, less formal than we think, and also less than perfect (on our end and the kids) and that's ok - it really is.
Have they learned something some of the time? Have they felt something some of the time? Have they paid attention some of the time? Have you feel successful some of the time?
If any of those are yes than I don't think you need to feel guilty - and not just that it wasn't what you planned, but also because you weren't as patient or whatever.
I have been amazed and in awe of your FHE and devotionals (so inspired I asked for a laminator for my birthday - it came with 2 sheets and I have never gotten more. Boy, that FHE with the temple and little words was a total hit - THANKS FRIEND MAGAZINE but um, my birthday was in March and I've been an FHE dud.)
We try to vary flannel board stories, Friend magazine, I want the new Nursery manual for simple lessons with application, or even the Gospel Pictures kit - and YET somehow with our bedtime and daddy's getting home and dinner it's been a bust for quite a while. We decided tonight to have FHE on Sunday afternoons -- post nap. We'll be fresh, have time and no distractions. Even then I'm not aiming for perfect - I let go of that ABBA dream a long time ago.
Erin, with all you do and all you are, I think you're doing a stellar job and you're a fabulous mom to Annie and Graham!
HUGS!
Oh, I can't stop laughing! I think th fhe lesson at my house was doomed because of Casper and his stinky diaper, not because it was 300 hours.
(: What they will remember is that you had FHE, weekly.........that it was fun. That you ate treats (sugar free of course), and that sometimes you planted seeds.
The preparation is for you and them.........that will sink into their spirits, but the thrashing/not listening etc........it's all normal!
AT least that's what Elder Bednar told us at stake conference. His kids thrashed, moaned, flopped, pulled shirts over their heads......now as grown ups they want to have family scripture discussions with their dad. Hmmmm.
Maybe my discussion for FHE about various fun aspects of horses and cows is a good idea. We sang old MacDonald and talked about how Heavenly Father made horses.
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"Like a little laminated seed taped to the wall." was my favorite part of this post.
And, I could try to give you all this amazing FHE advice, but I'm too relieved that my kids aren't the only ones who say things like, "When do we get treats?"
Courtney--ditto on the round table discussion!!! I could listen to that thing over and over (and I do) because it helps me keep things in real perspective.
Can't wait to hear from Julie B Beck (whom Allen invariably refers to as "Becky Burbank") next weekend!
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