That's a scramble of the real phrase, but it did come to mind when I heard a story on npr about Dutch researchers who are using a Wii remote to control a lawnmower so that a person could mow her lawn from a sitting position, most likely a sitting position inside or in the shade.I actually like mowing the lawn, so that device does nothing for me, but I would love a Wii-controlled baseboard duster/cleaner. I would also love an invention that dusts my piano, key by key. I would also like one of those super-powered hand dryers (the kind in convenience store bathrooms that scare my daughter ... wait, that's not clear. The dryers scare my daughter, not the bathrooms. The bathrooms scare me) installed above my front stoop so that whenever I needed the dust, grass bits, sticks and random insect carcasses cleared, I could just press the dryer & all that stuff would blow away. Of course I would also like a self-flushing van to get rid of straw wrappers, cereal crumbs, paper scraps and dust/grass/sticks/carcasses that have been brought into the van on the bottom of my kids' shoes.
What inventions would make your life easier?
Any patents pending out there?
Any patents pending out there?
One other patent I would like to pend ... hair coloring that can be taken internally. Yes, I realize this technology or process is probably not developed YET. It sounds very dangerous. It also sounds very shallow and unimportant compared to things like stem cell research that puts Type 1 diabetes in remission. But I still wish that I could swallow a potion that would change my hair color: "What would you like to drink, ma'am?" the person at the drugstore might ask. "Oh, I'll take Mostly Mahagony, please, and could you add some tonic water and lime?"
My mother and father were and are amazing parents. They are wonderful in so many ways - ways I will try to list for you in future May and June posts - but I don't think I've yet forgiven them for not bestowing on me red hair. The genetic dice did not roll the way I would have liked in utero or in thirties-ero. Thus the need for the hair dye beverage.
8 comments:
But didn't you have red hair as a child?
I like the blowing device on the doorstep--and your use of the word "carcass" to describe the dead insects. I actually miss the cicada exoskeletons, truth be told.
My inventions, hmmm . . . well, Allen once wanted to invent a "baby-dome", a soundproof dome that you can put over your child. When he first described this invention to me, I said, "Oh! So your baby can sleep and won't hear everything going on." He looked at me like I was crazy and said, "No--so you can't hear your baby screaming." Why did this idea disturb me?
A self-cleaning refrigerator would be nice. And a grocery-shopping robot. You know those invisible fences for dogs? I want an invisible fence that keeps mosquitos out of my lawn and air space.
Not forgiving mom and dad for NOT bestowing the red haired gene.
Sadly I think you missed Mr. Ford's 7th grade genetics and diagraming violet and red flowers and what they are capable of producing. Now had Dennis and Nedra been your parents that you hadn't gotten red, that would have been a gamble but at least you'd have a leg to stand on. I mean seriously - it's like saying why didn't I get Olive colored skin and black hair. Um - hello SCANDIVIA! (Actually I think Grandma Janell is to blame because look at Trena, Jana, Matt -- that whole line got the strawberry blonde/red and we didn't.)
I have to laugh because my entire life I wanted Sunny's hair - the color (is there a more divine color of red - and what of those curls - barrel ringlets AHHHH the covetousness --- I can hear Marni making up a song about that even now.)
I would like something that made beds for me -- all our beds are against walls which means every day moving the beds in and out because you can't just walk around the bed. Feeble I know but sadly, because I can't just pull up the covers quickly, this is why I oftne don't have a made bed (which I despise!)
Ah, Erin, if only a hair-coloring pill! Then my hair would not have been, and continue to be the bane of my existence.
5-10 years ago a built in bum-wiper on the back of each toilet would have been ideal. Well, maybe even now...I'm sure Becca would love to share my fecal-towel story with you.
I want little super-suctions along all of my kitchen baseboards to rid my floor of the ever present crumb-fest.
A shock mechanism I can program in to my daughters' phones when they call/text people I don't approve of. Small voltage, but enough to get the point across. LOL
And last but not least, something that will, after I have situated myself in bed for a long winter's nap, go to the bathroom for me so I don't have to get up. Not lazy, just conserving energy...
If only I had known that was your heart's desire. Dad always had a spray can of something near by and I remember some red stuff.
I have to laugh because I wound up with red hair and I always wondered where it came from since neither my parents (or any of my siblings, for that matter) have red hair. Although Michael's goatee has definite shades of red when he's standing in the right light so I guess I'm not alone in my red-hairedness. :)
Personally, I would love a self-cleaning bathroom and a self-cleaning fridge. Those are definitely two of my most despised tasks!
I second the self cleaning bathroom. Also, a kitchen floor that absorbs spills, crumbs etc. into itself and stays spotless and white at all times. That HAS to be inventable...c'mon, somebody???
The baby dome sounds horrifying and funny ... I would like a clear and easy map to living green without having to think about every single thing. The map changes as you go about your day? A fairly complex invention.
I would just like to be Elasti-girl. That's all!
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