I went to Walgreen's yesterday to pick up some office supplies (read: bags of candy for the presentation my officemate and I were giving to people in our division.) At the checkout stand, I grabbed a pack of spearmint gum. Not just any pack, but a Big Pak. It's a "new size!" with "35 pieces" of "artificially flavored" Orbit gum. I am very partial to Orbit gum. I love the sweet mint and bubble mint flavors the best, but I couldn't resist the Big Pak's charms. 35 pieces should definitely last the week. (My 2nd place gum brand is Trident. There is no 3rd place.)
The robot-o-tron working the cash register rang up my candy and cat food, then grabbed the Big Pak, scanned it too, and said, rather mindlessly, "Do you want to try a pack of Wrigley's Doublemint gum? Only 99 cents this week." She gestured weakly toward a metal basket filled with Doublemint gum.
!
Hey, "MaKenzee"? Quick word of advice for you, as it's clearly your first week on the job. When a customer places an Orbit Big Pak on the counter to be purchased, that act indicates not only a desire for Orbit gum, but also indicates a total lack of desire for any other kind of gum. When your customer is purchasing 35 pieces of minty goodness, that customer does not want to spend an additional 99 cents for 5 inferior pieces or packages of gum that will lose their flavor before the customer even leaves the parking lot. Doublemint and Orbit are both made by Wrigley, so they already got my business, Kenz.
p.s. Don't you love those punctuation signs on the wall behind my Big Pak? Kyle's cousin Alana gave them to me several Christmases ago, and they are perfect in my office. All the other English teachers are so jel.
3 comments:
I love your punctuation marks.
Earlier you asked about the letters on the walls of my bookroom.
Years ago a fiend gave me type and other items from the Owyhee Chronicle one of Idaho's first news papers. I liked the idea that a library should have those minute pieces of writing called alphabet letters. I started looking for old, abandoned letters from signs, I did not have much luck. Friends and family came to the rescue with various styles/fonts.
Your photo reminded me.
Have you ever had that Stride gum? It's supposed to last forever, but it lasts about 5 seconds. I'm not exaggerating either. I've never had Orbit, but I'll have to try it. We usually get the mini-tubs of Excel Polar Ice: 72 pieces for $3. Can't beat that for our big family and it lasts pretty long. I can't believe I just wrote this much about gum...
And I do love the punctuation marks. Very English teachery. I'd be jealous too if I were your colleague!
"So jel!" It made it to your blog! But you must spell it with two l's in the future . . . it's part of the charm.
And I do love those punctuation marks. Adding to my wishlist right now . . .
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