I find it therapeutic to play the right *mood* music and wallow (for a time) in some healthy pity. Tonight, I'm feeling sad at the distance between me and my family/me and my dear friends, sad that I don't have naturally luscious red hair, and a bit blubbery about the novel that lives in my head but has thusfar not shown itself on paper. Sad for my failings, wishing I were a better steward, a better granddaughter/daughter, a more patient citizen of earth.
Who knows why I'm sad tonight? The weather is chilly and gorgeous. Is that it? Not sure ... but this blue mood is not altogether an unpleasant thing. I chalk it all up to stretching emotionally. The more capable I am of feeling sorrow, the sweeter the joy, I believe.
Various emotions in my life are tagged by songs that bring the moments back. Sometimes the song can be a shortcut to the memory, and help me process whatever's squeezing at my heart.
Some great weepy songs on my Good Cry song list include:
"Body's In Trouble" by Mary Margaret O'Hara (this Canadian lady can sing, let me tell you. Also, she's Catherine O'Hara's sister. Her album Miss America has a certain cult status that is well deserved, I think!)
"Purple Rain" by Prince (I feel like one of those "Proudly Serving Erin Since 1986" is in order 'cause this song has gone the distance for me emotionally. I recall a Halloween party when I was 14 and a confrontation with a certain T.W. whose acronym shall remain folded. I was wearing a trenchcoat. We talked outside the holiday party we were both attending. My heart broke a little that night, and that Prince tape played one continous round.)
"re: Stacks" by Bon Iver (listening to this right now and wondering why I'm acting like I'm a character on 'Grey's Anatomy' instead of showing a stiff upper lip. Hmmm ... I'll save the stiff upper lip for tomorrow! I've heard that he wrote this song in a remote Wisconsin cabin in the middle of a freezing winter. That sounds about right, moodwise.)
"Fix You" by Coldplay (talk about wish fulfillment! Take a listen to these lyrics. Singing along at the concert with thousands of other fans was like a giant musical group hug. But not a literal hug. The guy standing next to me kept looking at me as though I was singing too loud. Hello? We're at an outdoor Coldplay concert. Sing out!)
"Fumbling Towards Ecstasy" by Sarah McLachlan (her musical range alone could bring a listener to tears. She takes me right back to being an undergrad, back in the days when we would haunt CD stores - those relics - and I would try to find any obscure single I could. Poor Elizabeth had to tag along on a few of those shopping sessions and nearly petrified from boredom.)
"See What Tomorrow Brings" by the Arc Angels (one night, a few weeks after Kyle & I started hanging out in earnest, we talked on the phone til 6 a.m. Only sheer exhaustion ended the call. I thought it was going somewhere for sure, but there was a delay. I didn't know what it was. Meanwhile, he lent me a CD, and this was the first track on it. I played it over and over one rainy night, just hoping that I'd get a chance with this most intriguing fella. You know, even now, after the story has run its course, I like to remember those anticipatory moments and remind myself that it was good when it was good.)
"I Almost Forgot" by Matthew Sweet (This song is sweet, too, and MS's voice - a little raspy, a little unpolished - conveys vulnerability just as eloquently as the most velvety singer.)
... and even "Cowboy Take Me Away" by the Dixie Chicks. (There, I said it. I love that song.)
What does it for you, musically speaking? Any tunes that require a box of kleenex?
7 comments:
"I Know"-- Fiona Apple. Great post-- thanks again.
Matthew Sweet's "I Almost Forgot" is definitely a tear-jerker. And I agree with your Sarah McLachlan assessment.
I'm glad that you remind yourself how it was good when it was good.
I had myself a good cry when I heard "Love Has no Pride" by Bonnie Raitt, a few weeks after Allen left for Arkansas after our year together at Ricks. Even now, though I know how the story turned out, I can start feeling sad when I think of how I loved him and didn't know if he loved me back.
I hope this is not inappropriate to ask, but was that your "weird club" trenchcoat? :)
Hope you're feeling better this morning.
MLK and Ah Leave Me Not (Pirates of Penzance) but both as performed by the King's Singers. Oh my yes a weep fest.
Five Variants on Dives and Lazarus by Ralph Vaughn Williams.
When David Heard that Absolom Was Slain, by Eric Whitacre -- ONLY ONLY ONLY when performed by BYU Singers when Marni sang with them.
My go-to cry song is "I Wonder" by Chris Isaak. It's a "curl up under the blanket, knees pulled to your chest, and just have good cry" song.
"I Would Die For That" by Kellie Coffey. When we were in the midst of conception troubles this song could really express my deepest feelings. I still cry every time I hear it.
I just cried when I read your post. I am glad that it was good when it was good and I am sorry that things are different now.
Let's face it, sometimes we need to let it all out, and music has the ability to reach the deepest, darkest crevices of the psyche. I'm of the opinion that the mind needs that kind of purging in order to remain healthy. I hope it made you feel lots better.
I have too many songs that trigger the tears, but one of my favourite sad songs is Many Rivers to Cross (Eric Burden and the Original Animals version).
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